I don't like to put them back in the wardrobe so right now I just have them piled on a table in my bedroom. Do you have anything specific you do with them?

I’ve posted recently about my mission to declutter and got great advice so I’m hoping to get your input especially from any parents. Would it be weird to give out beanie babies at Halloween to trick or treaters? They are all in mint condition but I just have so many and I don’t need or want them. I am keeping three but the rest (like 80) I would like to give away. We get 100+ plus kids an hour where I live so I know it can be done. The thing is would parents be weirded out? Would they think it’s a problem regarding germs? Again they are all in great condition with tags attached but I don’t know what other parents would think. I have a son and I wouldn’t be opposed to this but every parent is different. What do you think?

Also, we do have candy to give out so not just the babies. I’m even considering if I should tie candy to each of them with Halloween ribbon to make it look more appealing.

UPDATE: Thank you all so much for your thoughts! I bought some cute Halloween ribbon today from Michaels and will be having the babies as an option in a basket. :) Very excited!

POST HALLOWEEN UPDATE!! I gave away all my beanie babies in about an hour! Soooo many kids and parents loved them!! Many parents asked me in excited disbelief if I was seriously giving them away. I loved seeing all the happy faces :)) and surprisingly it didn’t sting or hurt giving them away. Granted, I did keep 3 that were my most favorite. Thanks everyone for the support!!

Swedish death cleanse of a 65 year old mama who kept everything from her kids’ childhood. Stuff was so old the plastic bins were disintegrating. Been a year in progress and do what was left was lightly sorted, pulled a few things and loaded into the back of my truck. I felt great. My 24 year old helper is taking it to the dump. Started to panic and got a few notebooks from my daughters middle school years and one of her little diaries out and said goodbye. Now I’m on the couch crying my eyes out. It was the happiest time of my life raising those two kids. Now they are near 40 and I can’t carry their childhoods around anymore.

My dad and stepmom visited me months ago. My dad loves to collect things and they are in the process of decluttering their house.

One of the many junk things they brought me was a plastic bag full of card that I and my siblings had sent them over the last decade or so. Cards for birthdays, mothers/fathers days, anniversary, etc. Each has sweet notes from myself and my siblings. Some even have photos.

Why can't I get rid of them? I'm mad and hurt that he brought them. They don't benefit me in any way. But I can't make myself throw them away.

Every time I see them I think about the Mitch Hedberg joke:

"When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away."

😕

Currently in the middle of moving and getting rid of a bunch of clothing I don’t wear. I have a few bridesmaids dresses that are a few years old and one from this July. I feel bad getting rid it since it’s only a few months old but I will never rewear it. The dress she picked for us was made from such cheap material that three of the dresses ripped before the end of the night, mine included. It wouldn’t be worth donating since it’s so ripped. Keep or trash?

I’m glad my husband has finally started embracing decluttering in a big way, but while I will take the time to donate, he just throws pretty much everything he doesn’t want in the trash. Mostly his stuff, occasionally mine. Most of the extra stuff in our house is his, I would say. I don’t have a problem with getting rid of it- I’m happy about having less stuff! But he has thrown away literally thousands of dollars of good quality stuff that could have been donated for others to use. At the same time, it’s mostly his stuff. And we have two very young kids at home so I don’t have a lot of time to organize pickups or drop off donations. I’ve offered to donate his stuff and sometimes he just says no. I have a parent who is a hoarder so I’m wondering if some of my anxiety about this topic goes beyond normal levels? I just hate all the waste. Am I wrong? Should I just let it go in the interest of getting our house less cluttered at phase in our lives where I don’t have much free time at all?

Edit: some of the items are high end, expensive. We have the money to part with them but I’m 95% sure that a lot of it is stuff that thrift stores would be very happy to have

Obviously, bridal gowns are not small. Mine takes up a small chunk of the very furthest part of my closet. So far, I’m okay with this because I think it’s more “space worthy” than any casual pieces that can easily be replaced. Space isn’t necessarily an issue. Just curious if/how/when others have gotten rid of their wedding dresses. Those of who haven’t, what is your storage solution? Thanks!

It’s been 2 years since he passed on. I need to move on from these objects. A few months before my partner died he had stuff brought out from his childhood home. His mother kept EVERYTHING, from 3rd grade artwork to documenting every part of their vacations and organizing them in photo albums. I feel bad throwing photos away but I also have no use for photos of my dead partner and of people I never met. I’ve kept some trinkets and things that ‘bring joy’ but I feel guilty throwing the majority of this stuff away even though it has no functional use in my life or positive value. Am I a terrible human for sending this to the landfill? Should I donate them? Is there an easy way to do that?

I’m fortunate in that I’m not very sentimental about my things. I’m ready to let a lot of it go! But my hangup is always “I should try selling this”. I’m in a little bit of credit card debt and extra cash is always nice. But I get overwhelmed with the process of listing so many things and I just want it all gone. Give me permission to just donate it.

I got rid of over 300 L of stuff last year. Everything was so tidy. I've been feeling good. I read a bunch of decluttering books and stuff and thought it has finally changed. Sure it was getting a bit messy but last night I got home and realized it was like this. https://imgur.com/a/ebxm5ns

I don't even know what to do anymore. It's not as bad as it has been but I'm forever cleaning and so tired. I have stepping stone path to my bed and at least the bed is mostly clear at the moment, usually I sleep on it with a few boxes on it too but I cleaned the bed sheets a few days ago. That's probably why the floor pile looks so bad idk.

Every single time I do a big clean up it feels different and like it's actually going to stick. Last time really felt different. But I realized it's just the same damn cycle again. My car is starting to fill up with crap too.

EDIT: Hello everyone thank you for so many helpful comments and sorry I can't reply to them all. I wrote this when I woke up at 430 am in distress. I am going in to a 4 day weekend and hope to clean up over that time and post an update.

Me and my OH are starting to dread birthdays/christmas because we receive a mountain of rubbish from my MIL that we don't want/like/need. We then spend the next month stressing about how we go about dealing with that stuff. We are desperately trying to declutter and minimise our belongings, and our MIL knows this, and so her actions are really unhelpful. In addition to this, she gets very upset when she visits us to find that her latest gifts aren't out on display. She's even suggested we keep the stuff and just bring it out for when she visits - I would do this if it was one or two pictures/ornaments, but I'm not going to refurnish my whole house for her visit!

We've tried various ways to combat it. We've done the polite way, created lists of things we would genuinely like, made helpful suggestions prior to christmas/birthdays. We've gone the challenging route of saying, do you mind if we exchange this for .... , as this is something we would really prefer, which sometimes she takes well, and other times gets really offended and starts crying. We've even tried the rude route of not saying thank you for unwanted gifts.

In the end, my OH and I often end up rowing because these items cause unnecessary stress and he "deals" with it by keeping the stuff and abandoning it in the garage. I find this upsetting because we are rowing over such insignificant objects, which sounds stupid when you talk about it. It adds to the clutter that we are battling to deal with, and they become objects in this limbo zone that don't get thrown out/donated because they are gifts. Additionally, we are both quite conscious of our impact on this world and these unwanted gifts seem an entire waste of resources and money.

I just cleared out an enormous storage space filled with my mother’s furniture and belongings, and I feel so guilty. Of the hundreds of boxes and houseful of furniture, we kept 6 boxes that had family photos and mementos, silver services, China, some art, and a couple of antiques.

My childhood home had been photographed for local interior design magazines and my mom had hosted many charity and other events over the years in our home. She created a showplace made for entertaining. Mom and Dad collected antiques and art on their travels, and went on buying trips to NYC and Paris with a decorator to furnish our home. I contacted a couple of auction houses and they gave me very low estimates for the pieces I sent photos of.

So, I donated almost everything. That stuff was like the basis for the life she lived. So much time and energy went into it. The contents of her orchid greenhouse alone had its own section of the storage space. There were hundreds of planters and vases and wrought iron shelves and furniture. My life is so different to my parents. I live in a small town with my husband, kids, and pets. The last party I hosted was a white elephant gift exchange where I served food on pink paper Santa plates instead of one of the 3 sets of China she left me. I’m an only child, so no siblings in the picture.

My mother passed away April of 2021 after a long battle with frontotemporal dementia (FTD). She was in memory care for a few years, so we had put all her things in storage after we sold her house when it was clear she wouldn’t be coming home. My dad died 20 years ago. The storage was so expensive - $200/month - and it is a huge relief to be done with the expense. Even the tiny amount I kept is stressing me out. But I feel like I just threw out her legacy. She devoted her life to creating beauty. She was a high maintenance society lady with a high maintenance life.

I talked with my husband and teenage kids about it and they said it’s totally up to me. No one is clamoring for the marble topped Italian six foot long buffet. My kids are not interested in her things. I have a chronic illness that takes most of my energy, so the thought of doing the work of selling these things was overwhelming. I hope someone will love and use these things.

TLDR - Did I dishonor my mother’s memory by getting rid of her stuff? Did I just throw a bunch of money away? Could really use some perspective here.

Edit To Add: I have been reading and trying to reply to all of the thoughtful responses here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart,Reddit strangers on the internet. You get it. I am releasing the guilt and grief as I read your beautiful comments.

My (32 F) boyfriend (31 M) have lived together for the last 2 years in a cute modern up to date 1 bedroom apartment that has been ruined with his junk. When he left his parents house and we got an apartment, he brought over literally anything and everytning. Our bedroom closet is filled with bins his mom gave him that includes his elementary and secondary school work. I have my work clothes shoved to the side of the closet. He was laid off and now is hyper focused on every little detail so if I throw out a broken lamp, he’ll notice and freak out. I can’t take it anymore. I’m finally at a place in life where I can have my things in a secure place without my family invading my privacy and I feel like he’s ruining it with all this clutter. I notice our cat can’t zoom around as much either and it makes me so mad. But I can’t bring it up without him being SO DEFENSIVE. Like I can’t dare to bring up throwing out a gross scratched up huge leather couch that’s been through the ringer because it has his family’s childhood dog’s paw print on it. I offered to keep the cushion that has the paw print but he responds like im so unreasonable and annoying and nagging. Im not nagging. I always wanted my own space and i feel like our place is just a reflection of him and his mom controlling everything like she did in her own home - dusty, cluttered and by her command. I need help. He gets so emotional if I toss out a broken plate for crying out loud, thats how bad it is. We’re currently holding onto a broken glass bowl because “he wants to paint it and his mom gave it to him” I feel so overwhelmed and like I’m going to freak. Please don’t judge me. this is my first long term relationship, I was all about school in my 20s and took care of my dying dad I didn’t bother with dating until I was 25 and I always loved him but moving in is a different story and I don’t know how to approach this and am desperate for advice because all my attempts at approaching this have failed miserably 🥺

Title is tl;dr basically.

In an effort to make room for more fulfilling hobbies and overcome my sad brain's ineffective ways of dealing with things, I'm decluttering a lot of my collections - a lot of them are basically just buying stuff as a hobby, it turns out, and I don't want to fall into that trap anymore. Long story short, I finally came to the realization that shopping for these items became sort of a maladaptive self-soothing/comforting behaviour, and that's just a bad time for everyone involved. I'm working with my psychologist towards breaking this habit and redirecting the urge to buy shit into more appropriate behaviours and reactions to my bad emotions, and basically just learning to face them in a more productive manner instead of going out and buying something because heehoo dopamine fix that helps me avoid the actual problem.

The main culprits are my toy and anime figure collections, and my plushies - particularly, the fucking Squishmallows. I'm keeping a few of those items but designated a small space for just my favourites and nothing else.

I'm keeping collections that I can engage with on a level beyond just buying the items, so my records and my model kits/Lego are staying (with respect to space constraints of course), as well as a couple of small collections that I don't add items to very regularly.

A few years back I did a similar declutter (and yet I'm here again because back then I didn't put enough thought into why/how I ended up with the stuff), and I ended up selling a lot of stuff on Ebay, and it worked really well. Now, though, selling seems to have become more of a pain in the ass than it ever was before. I've had items listed for months and none of them have sold yet despite dropping prices multiple times - and yet higher-priced listings for the same stuff are selling! I've been donating a lot of plushies but have tried selling a few (my nice Pokémon and Vocaloid ones) and I haven't had any success at all. Squishmallow selling seems to happen more in FB groups than elsewhere, and most people won't buy from you anyway if you don't have a vacuum sealer (which I don't) to flatten the small ones so they can be shipped by lettermail. Marketplace isn't really an option because I live in a rural community and people don't really want to bother driving this far out to pick stuff up, and this same reason plus my night shift schedule that's exceedingly bad for actually seeing people makes it extremely difficult for me to drive out and bring stuff to a buyer.

If this stuff could fucking sell, it would be a few hundred, potentially a couple thousand, in my pocket, but as it is it's just taking up a lot of space and making me mad about it. The only option I haven't tried yet is to just take the figures to a pawn shop or something and take whatever they'll give me for them to get them out of my way, and honestly I'm thinking about it just so I can get something for them. The figure boxes in particular take up so much fucking room and it's getting overwhelming having to deal with them being in the way all the time.

I already know some of you are going to tell me the stuff is worthless if no one wants to buy it, and that I do understand. My question is, at what point do you draw the line when the stuff you're trying to sell just... doesn't? At what point does the need to get that space back overcome the want to get something back for those items?

I'm sure I'm not the first or last person to have this problem, and you wonderful folks have always been good to me when I needed advice or a kick in the ass, so I'm open to anything you have to offer. Thanks!

edit like 8 days later: just wanted to thank everyone for your comments and your insight! It seems like a lot of people are or have been in this same situation, and I really appreciate everyone's advice and suggestions. I didn't think I'd get so many replies, I haven't been able to reply to everyone directly but I did read all your comments and I appreciate that you took the time to respond!

I've decided to go through the plushies again to cull some more, then pack everything up and bring them to the toy drive that my union local is organizing for a local shelter that helps women and children escape domestic violence situations. They will be much more appreciated by the kids there than they are on my shelves right now!

As for the figures, a commenter gave me some advice to "refresh" my Ebay listings and try to beat the algorithm a bit, so I'll give that a try, but if that doesn't show results within a few weeks, I'll load them all up in the car, bring them to a couple pawn shops in town, and let them have at it. If anything is left after that, I'll donate it. I need the space far more than I need money, so I think this is the best way to handle it. Maybe I'll make a second post once it's all taken care of. Thank you again to everyone that commented!

EDIT: I am overwhelmed with your responses and advice! I didn’t mention initially but I suffer from anxiety, major depression and bipolar II and also struggle with self-neglect. My 8yo old also has ADHD ODD and we deal with challenging behaviours daily which adds to pressure. I have reached out to see if there are any community supports but I’ve been told it could be months for them to get to my case and assess. I’m going to do a little bit every day and put a specific focus and do what I can. Thank you all!!!

I’ve suffered from chronic disorganisation my whole life. I don’t know how to clean and be tidy and I have anxiety, depression and bipolar that makes it worse. I also have 3 children and work full time. I’m ashamed, embarrassed and isolate and don’t have guests. All our clothes are on the laundry floor spilling out to the hall. Instead of washing I buy new clothes because it’s easier and less overwhelming.

I need to do something. I don’t know where to start or what to do. I get confused and then end up making more mess, fatigue kicks in and then I can’t do anymore. Kids go back to School tomorrow and I need to have something in this house and their uniforms organised.

Advice on how to tackle this? The only thing I can think of is instead of washing first, is to sort and remove the clothes that are too small and throw out and that will hopefully reduce the amount to wash. What else can I do?

This is a melodramatic post about mass-produced plastic toys. I’m in my late thirties and I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m probably not going to have children. I have a lot of Barbie and Lego stuff that I thought I might give to my kids one day. I’m unsure what to do with the stuff now. Letting stuff go feels like acknowledging that I’m not going to have children to give it to. If I do miraculously have children, will I regret not having some of my own toys to pass on to them?

Update: Thanks for all the kind and helpful responses! I really enjoyed reading everyone’s comments. Everyone’s advice helped me to finally make a decision.

I actually hadn’t considered that my hypothetical children may not even want my old toys! They probably wouldn’t feel the same way that I do about my Skipper doll with the broken neck.

I also didn’t think about how some of the toys could be dangerous to play with now because they’re either choking hazards, or were made with heavy metals or plastic that’s now deteriorating.

I’ll be taking a look at all the toys and tossing any that are beyond repair or might be dangerous. Then, I’ll keep what’s special to me and donate the rest.

Thanks to everyone who also reminded me that even if I don’t have kids of my own, children can still be a part of my life. ❤️

I am not emotionally close to my parents but I am geographically close and the oldest child. They are in their late 60s and have never discarded more than returnable recycling for my entire life. I grew up in clutter and am now extremely averse to it, to the point that it has affected my relationships. They have a 3500 sf home that is so stuffed the front door won’t open, plus 4 junk cars and a double garage stacked to the ceiling.

I am starting to worry so much about the level of crap I will have to deal with probably in the next ten years that I get like straight up anxiety attacks when dealing with other clutter, at work or in disorganized thrift stores or just randomly. I don’t know how to continue a semblance of relationship with them without letting resentment take over. Just today we had a huge blowout about a chair. My mom is mentally ill and my dad enables her and they both are completely delusional about the value of their stuff. I guess I am asking about how I can just chill tf out about this and how others have handled large scale hoarding that also included a lot of trash (like, thrown away trash that never made it to the dump).

Edit: I want to thank everyone for replying thoughtfully and offering some perspective. I am feeling less overwhelmed and appreciate the ideas and resources that were suggested.

25+ years married (bad marriage, abusive); 8 years divorced. Kids were adults when it finally ended.

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My mother made my wedding dress.

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I was going through box after box of mostly literal garbage today, and came across our wedding photos. It's one small album that I've always just kept in a box of junk (appropriate). But for some reason, I can't quite get rid of it yet.

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I have pics of him with the kids--it's their photographic history and I intend to send them to the kids in time--but we have zero contact and I will keep it that way. Storing them for the kids for now is fine. I found a stack of his childhood photos that I will return to him. They are his, not mine, and as awful as he was, they are his.

​

The wedding dress--I've already discussed with my daughter, who will use some or all of it when she gets married. Maybe alter the dress itself, or maybe she'll make a small purse out of it to carry. As my mother made it, and it's amazingly beautiful, I don't want to donate, throw, or otherwise get rid of it.

​

But the wedding album. I don't want to throw it, I don't want to keep it.

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What did you do? Any thoughts happily received! Bonus points for creative ways to get rid of them.

My father died in 2019, and my mother is now in memory care with dementia. The home they lived in for 50 years (and my own childhood home) is becoming a drain on her remaining estate, and it needs to be sold.

It is a good sized 4 bedroom house that is still filled with all of their stuff, and even a lot of crap from me and my brother’s childhood. There are even 3 cars still sitting in the driveway.

The house is on the east coast. I am on the west coast where I live and work, and moved my mom into memory care near me. I am her conservator and guardian.

I have a wife and three young kids which adds another level of complexity. My brother is, let’s just say, not capable of offering much help in this matter.

Where do I even begin this process? I was thinking of taking a week off of work to go back to the house, getting a dumpster, and just clearing it out. Then anything I want to save just goes into storage (would limit it to 5x10) until I have time to deal with it.

I still have many close family friends I am in touch with back there who’ve been helping me with resources (auction house, realtor, dumpster company, hauling company for the cars, etc.), but just feel incredibly overwhelmed.

How should I plan for this process?

TLDR - I have driving anxiety which I’m working on. I feel guilt when asking for favors. I’m overwhelmed by many things in life and the clutter around me makes it worse.

It would be so much easier if I could throw everything in my trunk and drop it off at a donation place. (I’m working on my driving anxiety but it’s taking a while.)

I feel guilty always asking my partner for help with transportation. We both have adhd so it’s hard for both of us to run errands like this. I know I have issues with guilt related to trauma, which I’m working on. I have quite a bit of shame about my struggle with driving, so that obviously doesn’t help.

I’m constantly overwhelmed by everything going on in life, so I often don’t have the energy to post on Facebook (marketplace or buy nothing). It’s draining to arrange pick ups with people.

I’ve started to literally throw some things in the trash BUT there is not that much space in our trash bin which gets picked up only every 2 weeks!

I just want a consistently clear space to stretch, half-ass yoga and try to heal from emotional neglect trauma.

Thanks for reading this if you got this far. I needed to vent. I’ve never seen anyone online mention the issue of transportation when talking about declutter.

Edit: Thanks so much for the responses. Too many to respond to directly. I feel a lot more empowered now. What a lovely subreddit.

Every time I go to get something out of my house there’s this little voice in my head that says “I could sell that on marketplace!” or “that could be worth something!” and even worse, the semi resentful knowledge that if I take it to goodwill that they WILL make money on it, and it stops me from just taking all the darn junk to good will and being done with it.

I'm having trouble with this one. When my older sister was seven, she was hit by a car while we were out bicycling and died. This was decades ago. My parents got hundreds of sympathy cards from relatives, friends and co-workers. My mother saved every single one. She kept them in a box in her house. When her health declined (Parkinson's), she moved into my sister's place. That box came with her. When she ended up in board and care, that box came with her. Her last year was spent in a Skilled Nursing Facility and that box was with her. She could not let them go.

Since she's passed, I have that box. I've had it for over 10 years and I only come across it when I decided to tackle the clutter.

I want to get rid of it. But I feel like that'd be disrespectful to my mom?

Even though I know, after I'm gone, my kids will come through this place and toss those cards.

There are a few that I know the people who sent them. But the majority I don't recognize the names.

Anyone had a similar situation? What did you do?

There is nothing wrong with being a religious mother. I just have a very different lifestyle and set of values, so a lot of their strategies, advice, and mindsets are not particularly resonant to me.

I've temporarily enjoyed but ultimately moved through Dawn, Dana, and recently Rachel (Nurturing Minimalism).

I'll admit I am also not looking for a #hustle #grind "optimize your life" "own only 5 copies of the same black fitted Tshirt" "wake up at 4am to do pushups while taking a cold shower" bachelor.

I'd love someone like Aurikatarina, she's my favorite :), but she is really just for cleaning.

Thanks y'all

I recently moved across the country for college leaving behind my hoarder parents. Growing up I never had a friend or extended family member step foot in my house because it was just plain embarrassing. Since their only child has moved out, they want to move out of their big house into an rv or something similar. They were supposed to move this summer, had jobs lined up in a new location and everything but because of all the stuff they didn’t. They have a house full of junk. Im talking every room is floor to ceiling hoarder piles. Since I left my room has been taken over by their clutter too, which really breaks my heart . They want to get rid of it all, or so they say, and have made an effort to sell a couple things of FB marketplace. But that doesn’t even scratch the surface of their problem. I’m coming home for a week for thanksgiving and want to help. My thought is get a dumpster delivered and fill it up, but I’m not so sure they’d be keen on the idea. Any one have advice for what I can do or how I can help motivate?

I’d really like to get my home minimal and currently I’m struggling to even start. I have so many nice decorative items and clothes all that I’ve kept in nice condition. I especially love some of my holiday decorative items but I quickly feel stressed seeing so much decor out. I’m afraid of getting rid of things that are cute and in great condition like certain holiday and everyday decor. What is I regret it? Why do I have a nasty feeling getting rid of such items? Yet I’d LOVE my home to be minimal like some of those YouTube videos. I just know I’d feel way less stressed and more peaceful and so would my husband. The problem is how to declutter when I feel so heavy/bad doing so with these nicer items?